Every 1.5 years I go through a phase where I listen to nothing but Ben Folds for about a week. It reminds me of driving around in Doug's minivan in high school in the snow listening to the most appropriate song for a snowing evening in Queens (Selfless, Cold and Composed). Doug always drove the minivan with the brights on; I think he was trying to emulate Eurolights (those bluish lights that blind you in the rear-view mirror). He had that Kaufmanesque humor. I never knew if it was serious admiration of a new cultural phenomenon or a satire of it.
More Ben Folds Five music on iLike
I am one of those rare people that actually has a favorite song. In 2003 I committed to Emaline. I wrote it down somewhere. From this day forward, I, Elizabeth Jane Fielder, hereby commit to answering "Emaline" when asked what my favorite song is. I've got the notarized version somewhere.
I took my middle name from (Jane) from a Ben Folds song (Jane).
I want "Fair" to be my wedding song because I believe it is an accurate representation of relationships. Especially one that includes smashed dishes.
More Ben Folds Five music on iLike
I have dedicated "Protection" to an ex-boyfriend I ever went through a break-up with. Even if I dumped them.
I like Ben Folds. So what.
It resurrected recently when I found out about Chatroulette a week ago. Yeah I know I'm late and everyone's already over it and had their fill of voyeurism. Let me at least explain it to my Mom (avid reader of the 'Blues). It is a website where you are randomly paired with strangers anywhere in the world on their webcams. About 80% of the strangers are penises. What are we doing wrong in our society that makes us hold our reproductive organs to cameras for millions of strangers to see? Should we be killing gazelles? WWFD? What Would Freud Do? There is a chance that some member of Freud's family tree is wiggling his willy in front of the little green light at the top of his Macbook screen. Wild.
So I tried it and I got some college kid who looked surprisingly innocuous. He said I was the first human face after 3 dicks. He was probably chatting from the dorm across the street from me. It was really awkward. I feel uncomfortable enough making small talk with friends, this was a new crevice of social anxiety I could barely withstand. I asked him if he liked roller coasters or ice cream better. He said ice cream. I signed off before he told me his favorite flavor. I thought the word flavor sounded dirty and I got scared.
I will never do that again. BUT back to Ben Folds. Garrett and MJ described this to me:
Which Mr. Folds stole from a much funnier version from Mr. Merton, a mysterious pianist:
There is one point in the video where a girl requests that song "Fireflies" and he plays the best version of that song that could exist. This guy somehow applied his prodigy to the latest asinine internet fad.
The brilliant talent of our generation shares performance space with the common dick. Are we heading toward mindless ignorance or true democracy?
No comments:
Post a Comment