I am going to Hell.

I spent all night and all morning/day furiously cleaning my apartment. I rearranged my cabinets and my drawers. Tried on some clothing and cut off some sleeves. Spritzed and scrubbed and com-part-mental-ized. Emails...answered. Phone calls...answered. I even dusted off the old guitar and learned a new song, Yo La Tengo's Autumn Sweater. I can't believe all these years have gone by and I have never learned that song. D, C, Am, G.

I have a deadline.

So therefore I decided I must check out rental prices for apartments in Park Slope on Craig's list. I have to find a few albums to download. I have to put files in folders on my computer. I have to check out the weather for the new month...in San Fransisco. Back to Craig's list for more rental prices. Then MapQuest for road trip planning. Then a few grad schools I might apply to. Then plan dinner. I am compelled to cook swordfish steaks tonight so I have to look up at least 10 recipes and try to come up with my own version combining all of them. Then I have to check if swordfish are OK fish to eat. Wait, do I even eat fish? Now I feel guilty, so I have to write letters to my congressman about health care reform that sound like this:

"I want you to consider the ideals you once had when you were initially running for office. I understand the pressure of politics and 'the game' involved with getting things done, even if it through compromise etc etc. I'm asking you NOT to compromise. I am asking you, Mr. Maloney to take action with HR 3200 and make affordable health care a reality for Americans who voted for you based on ideals. We are all suffering from lack of health care. Why should today's youth have to make life choices based not on dreams and desire but on where they can find insurance? Please help facilitate this process and liberate people from another aspect in the cycle of economic oppression."

Rep. Maloney will NOT read this. Me and the majority of people writing this requests have NO IDEA what we are talking about. I am sure we all have a deadline we are avoiding.

Imported Swordfish are on the Eco-worst list according to the Environmental Defense Fund list. I don't know if my swordfish are American or not.

Shit.

Chilean Sea Bass, Grouper, Orange roughy (?), Rockfish trawl, Salmon farmed in the Atlantic Ocean, Shark, Tilefish from the Gulf of Mexico, Bigeye or Yellowfin, or Bluefin Tuna. Don't order these fish at restaurants or you will go to Eco-hell which is in Bolgia 3 of the Eighth Circle of Hell, saved for the treacherous. It used to be reserved for those who committed simony, but since simony has fallen out of fashion lately and the Inferno is trying to appeal more to today's green-conscious youth, it is now being rented at below-market value to those committing eco-sins. Your punishment: being stuck in eternal traffic on a highway filled with SUVs with no AC.

OK I am seriously procrastinating. Back to work. After I look up more stuff on the Inferno. Then marinate my swordfish.