The Lord's Day

I want to start out by saying Sunday is the Lord's Day.

I contemplated going to church because I felt as though I was missing an element of spirituality in my life. I was toying with the idea of either a religious ceremony or a free yoga class at Sukha in Brooklyn.

Instead I ended up singing Bohemian Rhapsody in Union Square with no pants on. Part of Improv Everywhere's 2010 No Pants Subway Ride. We all met at the Great Hill in Central Park and took the 1 train to Times Square and transferred to the Yellow Line to Union Square.


List of Challenges to taking your pants off in public:
1. It is cold.
2. It is really REALLY hard not to laugh. Especially when you turn around and your significant other is in tiny briefs reading about World Religions.
3. People keep asking you why you aren't wearing any pants. (I always responded in a bitchy tone, "I'm just hot.")
4. There are young children in public places and on the subway. I am pretty convinced I was a young boy's first experience with crotch. His father and mother gave me the legit evil eye. I am doomed for life.
5. Trying to find people in Union Square when everyone is pantless. Praying that you DON'T bump into an ex-coworker, ex-boss, ex-lover, ex-anything.
6. Realizing you are probably on the news, you tube, facebook, blogs, etc...without pants.
7. You can't suck in your thighs.
8. The awkwardness that ensues when the moment is over that I can only compare to when MJ proposed to me and after 15 minutes of adrenaline and ecstatic joy, it's kind of like, "OK what now?" MJ and I got ice cream. The no pants group went to the bar and got drunk.
8. Getting a drink at the bar filled with hundreds of no-pantsers and one scared and highly annoyed bartender.
9. Putting pants back on.

The Crocodile Lounge on 14th between 1st and 2nd is a great bar. We got 3 dollar Yuenglings, then a ticket that gets you a free personal pizza. A really good pizza, fresh out the oven. Anyone who tried to enter the bar immediately was bludgeoned with the chant, "Take off your pants!" I noticed that older men who innocently were just trying to watch some football were more than happy to take off their pants. Younger, hip people were more likely to turn around and find a more subdued bar. I know they were just wearing dirty underwear. Or thongs.

Lauren and I decided that no pants was not enough. We wanted more. So we went to Chow Bar on W4th Street and the corner of W10th St and saw a burlesque show. It was our first show, the kid we brought with us (we met him without his pants on in the bar), had been to ones before, and we sat at a table with a fellow dancer friend from India, and one of the performer's husband. This was one of the best experiences of my life. Huge eyelashes, tassels and pasties, cheese costumes, gorilla suits, and giant feather fans. I was enamored with all the glamor. Hazel Honeysuckle, the wife our fellow diner, is pictured here. To see another of her amazing acts, check out Sci-Fi Burlesque in Astoria on January 23rd at Hell Gate Social.

I should have been at Yoga. I should have gone to church. But sometimes in this cold weather, you have to stare at naked flesh to keep you warm.